A couple weeks ago I was being a lazy ass/was wearing heels so I decided to take a cab to my friend’s house for a pre-outing drink. As I shimmied into the cab I was greeted by a gregarious cab driver. We made small talk as the cab merged onto Storrow drive. Things soon took a bad turn and since you all could not be there to witness the humiliation I will re-enact it, here word for word:
Cab Driver: So what are you doing tonight?
Me: Oh it is my friend’s birthday tonight so we are going out.
CB: You are going to party?
Me: Ahhh yeah, party, sure.
CB: Where is the party?
Me: Well first to the location I just told you… Then, I am not sure, out somewhere else.
CB: Is your friend married?
Was he interested? I am not sure . Ok no offense to this guy but ahhh were she actually single…they wouldn’t have been an obvious match let’s say.
Me: No, she is engaged.
CB: Are you married?
Me: No.
CB: Are you engaged?
Me: No.
CB: So, you have nothing. (?)
Me: I guess not.
It wasn’t even a question…more of a statement that he wanted me to agree with. He went on to ask me if there would be men at this “party.” Seriously dude, there is no party I told you like 4 times we are going out to a bar! I said, "I don’t know, perhaps men will be in the bars we go to, it’s a free country" sort of. He then said maybe my married friends could help me? I thought to myself, help me? Help me get my ass a drink after this shit-tastic cab ride perhaps!
Ok so if you know me you know that for most of my life I have been fine being single. I like to be by myself and do my own thing and I love the idea that I never know where the day might take me. True, that on weeknights it usually takes me home to drink wine and watch re-runs of Bones, but it has only been very recently that it bothered me. I have decided to have a total breakdown in all rational thought. 90% of my friends are married or engaged or in serious committed relationships. This did not bother me until strangers, family members, and judgmental looking dogs started to make me second guess myself.
You might think, oh come on, the cabbie didn’t say this to you! Yes, yes he did. Imagine it in a Haitian accent, so somehow he was mocking and laughing at me with an almost lyrical force. I think when I was getting dressed that night I must have attached a kick me sign to my back.
What have I learned from this? Nothing. I guess I will just have to ask cabbies before I enter their vehicles if they plan on making deep personal insights into my social life, because if so, I can always take the T.
I hate those jugdemental-looking dogs. And mean cabbies. And people in general most of the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm watching Chronicle right now, which is about people who live alone on islands in New England. Now here's the question, are they crazy or have they figured something out?...