Extreme...crazy?

I mentioned a couple days ago my affinity for the show Extreme Couponing and I want you all to know that was not in jest.  One of the tips the couponers suggest is to email the companies and complement their products and or ask for coupons so that you can get the discounts to use on future purchases.  So I tried a little experiment.  I emailed Ponds, Olay, Revlon, Organix and Aurora, beauty companies and one natural foods company all with products that I use and like.  I told them how much I liked their product and went into detail and also mentioned that, “I always look out for your product when it is one sale.” Thus hinting at cost being an issue in me enjoying their delightful goods.  Winning, right? No not right.  This first attempt failed completely.  Three of the five sent me tailored responses which were nice, but none mentioned anything about freebies or coupons.  One sent me a standard email blast and let me know there was 20% of lettuce.  Fuck lettuce. I love your delicious granola and that is what I emailed about. Ponds suggested I sign up for their email list and that deals might come via email.

What do I look like, an idiot?  Don’t answer that.  I don’t want spam Ponds! I want cold hard cash and I want it now.  I mentioned that this was a first attempt because this is just the first approach.  I also intend on emailing companies and lodging complaints about their products.  I have heard from coworkers that this works AND I equate it to a child acting out for attention, any behavior, even bad, is still rewarded with attention.

My next approach, if project Negative Nelly fails, is to email family friendly companies and allude to being a middle America mother.  Really get to their core, dig out their memories of Wonderbread sandwiches and their weekly hugs from their militaristic fathers.  Make them remember a time when women were women and men were drunk.  That’s right, just let the modern world slide away and go back to a simpler time, a time when things didn’t cost an arm and a leg.  Whats that?  Yes I would purchase your products if only their price did not exceed my weekly allowance.  Oh you have some coupons for me? How thoughtful.  Then BAM…look whos eating delicious granola alllll week.

That is how it is done kids.  Or at least I hope it is.  Im really a terrible negotiator but kind of a fantastic liar.  Regardless, I will keep you all abreast of my endeavors and let you know if I come up with any new ideas.  When it comes down to it, I really do have an allowance, a wine allowance and I’m do for a cost of living increase.

Update: Two days after I started to draft this post I got a wonderful surprise in my mail box. I received two $1 coupons from Revlon and a thank you note for my glowing reviews of their products.  Now that is what I am talking about Revlon! I already have plans for these two smackaroos and I hope this is the start of a wonderful friendship between myself and coupons.