Ok I may have come into the world of blogging and Twitter a little late and I am trying to go on Facebook more but I seriously missed the boat on Craigslist. I never got it. I thought it was a place to sell your couch from college or hire a hooker, or perhaps hire a hooker to have sex with you on your couch from college. Anyway, I have been conducting a little CL observation for research purposes and I will say that I am in no way surprised there was a Craigslist Killer and I'm only shocked we haven't had 10 repeat cases...although, as you will soon read, most of the people on the Boston site really just want someone to smoke weed with. I mean you know you're sad when you have to go on CL to get someone to smoke free drugs with...snap.
I got back on the drinking wagon this weekend with less than impressive results which will come to light soon. I seriously lost my tolerance over the past 2 months and ended up feeling like Taylor on RHBH on the Denver vacation...not with the crying and battering husband but with the confusion as to the whereabouts of her make up bag and general chicanery. By the way, that is a completely erroneous use of that word but I wanted to use it. It reminds me of some kind of tiny chicklet duckling that dances a jig....it is possible I'm still suffering from alcohol related verbal diarrhea right now.
Before those stories hit the press I would like to tell you all how I grew up in a span of 10 days. I have a tendency to think that I am pretty amazing. While it is great to have such a healthy, accurate, if just too modest a view of yourself, it can sometimes cause complacency. I get somewhat happy with how things are and it sometimes does not even occur to me that I might need to take a step back, reevaluate and make some changes. I woke up the week before my father died and decided to stop dragging my feet about my career. I made a move that basically went like this.
Evaluate your options:
You deserve more recognition and you can take on more responsibility at work. You have 2 choices. You can stay at a job you like with people you like and be your own advocate or you can take your chances out there in the world. Either way something has to change.
Weigh your consequences:
Since I am super lazy socially and starting a new job would mean meeting new people (ugh even the phrase irritates me) and having to pretend to be normal for a good 6-months before I show my true colors, I knew that at this juncture this option would just not work. However, staying here and not making a move would eventually lead to unhappiness in your job and lead to an interesting if not a little embarrassing ouburst during some lunch time meeting.
Take action:
Following a week off of work for personal reasons, I strapped on a pair of big girl pants and went back to work. I said what I wanted, was listened to, validated, and given what I wanted!
INSANITY. I do work with great people so I shouldn't be too shocked. However, I think more prevalent than my complacency at this stage in life, is that I am ambivalent about taking action and making a choice. When I don't make any choices I end up unhappy and annoyed. To avoid this type of result I pushed myself to do something uncomfortable and put myself into a situation where I did not know the outcome. Thankfully it turned out to be in my favor and made me realize that I have more value than just an amazing set of teeth and an impressive knowledge of useless facts. So I wouldn't say I turned lemons into lemonade, because I don't say things like that (I do like to use that lemon to flavor my Kettle One though.) I think instead of becoming all mopey and whiny I grew the fuck up.
I went for a several hours long walk along the Charles and through the city Saturday and just allowed myself to be really happy. (And also buy ridiculously expensive new Marc Jacobs perfume, but seriously it paid for itself that same day because this dude, who may or may not have been homeless, told me I smelled really good).
It was gorgeous out and there dogs abounded and I just thought that I needed to move on. I'm not going to just be happy all of the time because that isn't who I am and I still need more time but I will say I feel such a relief that every time the phone rings it isn't going to be the worst news of my life. I've been getting increasingly terrible news for years and then there's the anxiety of forgetting my phone or not being able to get where I need to in order to be there for the next life altering, terrifying moment. ahhhhhhhhh. To sleep through the night and leave my phone off, that is a luxury. I only had to deal with a portion of what my mother had to deal with but still I know when I go to sleep tonight the only thing that is currently on my mind is if and what I will write for a speech at my brother's wedding this weekend. I think something like this would work:
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.
You'll avoid a lot of damages
and enjoy the fun of managing the facts of life; they shed a lot of light If you hear them from your brother, better clear them with your mother better get them right, call her late at night You got the future in the palm of your hands all you gotta do to get you through is understand you think you rather do without, you will never make without the truth the facts of life is all about you Yeah, i just quoted The Facts of Life Theme song, but if you call me Natalie I'll punch you in the face.
good for you taking a big leap in the right direction for your career. a lot of people get too comfortable in where they currently are and are too scared to think about doing what's best for them, whether its finding a new job or saying what they feel to their boss. change is hard but worth it in both the career and life path in general. i'm proud of you!
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