Yet another overseas edition of 1001 Bostonian Nights. I met many an interesting character during my travels but one night in Dublin stands out not so much for the people, but for the events. My friend and I were on our 3rd night in Dublin and we had ventured back to into the city at night for an adventure. Previous night time, Dublin outings had resulted in my friend getting vomited upon by a hen party and us meeting Australian brothers Chaos and Mayhem. On this night we were approached by two men who could tell right off the bat that we were American, swindle.
The one who had his sights set on me was a real piece of work. I don’t like to work on stereotypes…ok that’s not true, I love to, but this stereotype was one I wish wasn’t true - bad breath/teeth. He was lanky and blond and I swear to God had the most terrible breath that I referred to him to my friend as Gingie, not because he was a ginger but because I was sure he had gingivitis. For the record his friend was rather lovely and had fine teeth and breath. Typical Americans right? We were not the only ones obsessed with dental discussion. Both were intent on learning our secret in America to good teeth. While I was hoping the obvious brushing, flossing, and dental care were not beyond their idea of a healthy oral routine, we let them in on some secrete info – fluoride. Pretty much everyone in my generation grew up drinking water infused with fluoride to reinforce our teeth. I’m not sure if they still do this but the Irish men were none-the-less fascinated. They were less fascinated by our pedigree.
My friend and I are each just half Irish and once Gingie found this out he referred to us as mutts. Seriously? Like some dog in a pound we were of tainted blood. Whatever, I think I make a good combo. Ugh, I was already not feeling him because of his aforementioned dental hygiene issue and after the blow to my family lineage I was more than over it. They had offered to bring us to some club where we could get VIP access. Very different than VIP access in the states but whatever we chatted and had a good time and carried on interesting conversations until the next thing I knew Gingie dove in to make out with me, in front of my friend and his friend and out of no where. I pushed him and his foul breath off of me. His reaction? To attempt to face rape me a second time. When I once again rebuffed his advances he retaliated with, “I just want to kiss you it isn’t like I want to marry you!”
Swoon.
Oh those Irish boys sure know the way to a girl’s heart. Because that is what I was worried about, him trying to make an honest woman of me in a night club. Once I had made it abundantly clear that I wanted to keep my mouth attack free and I was no longer entertaining his America bashing, he got up very abruptly, and walked to a corner in the bar. His friend was not amused by Gingie's antics and was worldlier than his compatriot so he continued to discuss global politics and beer. About 45-minutes later, Gingie returns with a friend.
I am observant of people and behavior and I believe the way you present and carry yourself in the world as you go about your day says a lot about you. This woman was an actual ginger, not sure about her gingivitis situation but you can ask my suitor, and she was a bit squat and disheveled. His lady friend also had quite a few, crucial teeth missing. I know it sounds again like I’m bashing dental issued people but hey, it matters to me, it doesn’t matter to everyone. His lass had us guess her nationality and after a few questions I was correct in matching her with New Zealand. She looked like a younger Grace Coddington from Vogue, only with Grace's current hair and a more stout physique. He proceeds to tell us that he and NZ have been snogging off in the club, oh how nice? I think this was supposed to make me feel jealous…maybe what won her over were further declarations of not having any solid intentions with her.
My friend, Gingie’s friend and I wander off into the street later and see NZ and Gingie up against an alley wall going at it like she is the last pony in Dodge. It’s like car wreck and I can’t look away. They both actually wave to us and we kind of stare in awe and continue towards the Molly Malone statue to see further debauchery and shenanigans in the streets until we decide to head home. As I mentioned in a previous entry we were staying in a very odd location, and we had to take a cab home. We decided to give the nicer of the two friends a lift home (his not ours). We actually asked him if we wanted to go to a movie the next day…I know I’m a weirdo but it seemed fine at the time. He wanted to know how long we were staying in the city and we were like however long we feel like. We ended up leaving two days later.
On our trek back we went through the equivalent of central park and I believe it is called Phoenix Park. It was sort of misty because there was always a bit of fog in that area at night and we were going quite slowly when we started to see something moving along side our cab. It was deer. Hoards of deer casually crossing our path right up against the car. I started freaking out excitedly because upon leaving downtown we had somehow entered and Alice in Wonderland situation where nothing was quite what it seemed. The driver and our “friend” thought we were crazy American girls. Why shouldn’t hundreds of deer cross the road as we drive through some sort of preserve?
Everything was dewy and lit only by the moon so with our headlights we could just make out the eyes of the deer and the whites of their tails. They were less concerned with us than we were with them and had we stopped we would have been able to get out and touch one. But if I have learned anything from the classic 80’s film Legend staring a pre-Scientology/couch jumping Tom Cruise, you shouldn’t touch something magical because it could have disastrous consequences. Granted, I’m no Mia Sara and this was no unicorn, but I felt like I should hold my breath otherwise they would go away. I slept so well that night. Yes my country and my ethnicity had been insulted but sometimes just one moment can make it all worth it.
“This place holds more magic for me than any palace in the world.”
No comments:
Post a Comment