Competition at the Watering Hole

I got back out there in the social scene this weekend in a big way.  I have just been so busy with weddings, family and life stuff that I haven't really had the time nor wanted to go out on the town.  Now that I have been able to go out, I definitely see what I have been missing and still think people who aren't social or decide that at the ripe old age of 25 they're too mature for that are crazy.  I'm glad I'm not too mature for it.  Some of my best times, not to mention best stories, have come from unexpected events on a night out.  Not every night is going to be a magical experience culminating in wonderment and awe but much like in research, you have to increase your pool to get the desired cohort (my boys wicked smaht).  Unfortunately, I'm not the only type of night traveler you will come across on any given night out.  There are other people with far more devious plans.


Some men go out for a good time, hang out with their bros, relax after work and the like.  They may not have explicit plans to seek out female companionship, married men or not, but if it happens to come their way they will engage you in some harmless flirting and banter.  There are also the men who go out for the explicit reason of finding some girl to bring home for NSA adult play dates.  Some men hope that might happen but are much less aggressive and may even be looking for the real deal, those are the good ones.  Lastly, a lot of guys are just out with their wives and girlfriends for a night out and I fully support that.  I've come across every single one of these types along with the enigmas here and there.  I have not however come across that many tangents in the female lounge hopping population.


Women go out to be noticed.  Plain and simple.  Women of all ages, married, single, gay, straight whatever the case may be, we all seek out the same thing.  We want women to appreciate our clothing and style and we want men to be attracted to us (well straight women do).  That's pretty much it.  Don't bother denying it, I won't believe you.  Yes I've been out on girl nights when we say, "no guys allowed" but it is a sure thing that one of those girls will surely leave you if the opportunity presents itself to have a chat with an interesting gent.  Hopefully, she's a good girl and heads back to your group soon after.  Besides if he is really interested you'll exchange digits and do that whole song and dance.  I have my fun pants off dance off parties when I truly just want to dance with my girlfriends.  This is more out of convenience and fun than me truly wanting to shake off the shackles of male attention.  If I really want to move, jump, dance foolishly like I'm in a Darren's Dance Grooves DVD, than I have to do it with my girlfriends, it just doesn't work that way with guys.  So now that I've established that for the vast majority of outings every women has some sliver of an idea that by her going out she will gain that attention she craves; I have to ask the question, " if we are all looking for the same thing doesn't that bring up competition?"


Yes, yes it does.  I mean to a certain extent there should always be that camaraderie women have for each other as a sex.  We need to have each others back.  Still there always seems to be the exception to the rule.  I went out Friday AND Saturday this weekend (what am I 21?) so I got a lot of perspective.  Weekend nights are different than cocktails with your coworkers on a Wednesday.  Women actually take the time to get ready and create whatever their look is.  All women appreciate a compliment from a peer.  I've made girls' days by telling them that I genuinely like their boots, jacket, or lipstick.  It feels as good to pay a compliment as it is to receive it.  But then there are the girls who don't want your compliment, they just want you gone.


I went out to Lolita Cocina and The Brahmin this weekend and I won't say which was which but for sure one of these places was chock full of bitches.  

I can say that because I'm a woman but just a reminder to guys, unless you want to get your ass kicked, don't refer to any woman, in any capacity as a bitch or bitchy.  

I mean me and my girl friends got some icy glares.  My mum, I'm sure, would tell me that it was because we were the best looking girls there and they saw us as competition.  And while I'd love to believe that, and on some nights I agree, it is more that they just have a bad attitude.  Yes, you are going to be bounced around, people will get in your way when you order a drink, some girl will have the same dress on as you...big whoop.  Or the creme de la creme annoyance - some girl is talking to the guy you have been crushing on all night.  


Nothing is more classless and less sexy to me than someone trying to hard.  Look if Joe Shit the Rag Man down at the end of the bar wanted to talk to you and if he was worth talking to himself, he'd be moseying up on your right now.  So using that logic, I would say you should cut your losses and move on to the next.  I never got this calling dibs thing.  You can't do that. While to some degree (if she is somewhat rational in her explanation and I am somewhat tipsy) I'll back up my ladies if think some broad danced up on "her man," I still think she needs to reevaluate and will tell her so.  Other than that,  I am not going to buy that you can get to the place and start leaving place savers on certain sections you want or people you want to talk to.  No, you don't have a special relationship with the bouncer, he just wants you to bring lots of girls into the bar and/or sleep with you.  No that booth is not your "spot" its a booth and first come first serve.  No that bartender doesn't "looovvveee" you, he/she wants to make money and they make their money in their tips.  Let's take it down a few notches.


So taking that all into consideration, shouldn't you want to be more considerate to your fellow bar patron and stop eyeballing that girl across the dance floor like she just stomped on a kitten.  Not cool rando bar girl, not cool.  There is plenty of fun to go around and as you can see above, all kinds of guys to get your attention.  Don't be petty if I take too much mirror time (oh and don't share TMI in the bathroom, its a stall, not a magical, sound proof confession box) and try holding the door for the next girl going in.  I might even tell you your knock off Jimmy Choos are just the thing to complete your look.